To begin the process of deprogramming you have to admit to yourself that you have been the victim of cult indoctrination and programing. Impossible to do from the inside.
My mother began the process of indoctrinating me into the cult of Baha'ism and it's supernatural beliefs when I was the age of seven. Needless to say at the age of seven you trust what your parents are telling you to be true, and in a way it is true, at least in their own minds.
I grew up in the cult that is Baha'ism. Attending it's rituals, it's conversion meetings. I declared as a Baha'i when I was 17, this was 1970. It wasn't very long after that though that I began to have serious doubts about the validity and truth of the Baha'i Faith. The many blatant contradictions in Baha'i teachings became too much for me to ignore, finally around 1984 I packed all my Baha'i books in coolers and put them in my crawl space, ;^).
Now had anyone come up to me in that time and told me that I was a member of a cult I would have been insulted and vociferously denied it. I would have given them the triumphalistic spiel that I had been programmed to repeat: Baha'u'llah and the Baha'i Faith are the only salvation for this world and until such time that the people of the world enter the Baha'i faith in troops the world will continue in it's materialistic and destructive ways. This is what Baha'i cultists truly believe. Thing is this is the exact same triumphalistic belief of every member of every major world religion as well as the belief of every member of every minor religious cult: we are in possession of the truth and you aren't. The reality is that truth cannot be possessed.
One day I realized that there wasn't anything wrong with me in seeing the many contradictions in Baha'i teachings, seeing the many examples of hypocrisy in the founders of Baha'ism. Those contradictions and those hypocrisies actually existed. What didn't exist was a fault in me for seeing and acknowledging them. That's when the process of deprogramming began.
